October 2009
Identity Theft
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05/10/2009 : my friend has just become a victim of identify theft and he has just taken devliery of five mobile phones that he didnt purchase. he is very upset about it and doesnt know where to start. any ideas, the police were not really interested
Food Allergy?
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05/10/2009 : I exercise three times a week, drink only one glass of wine in the evening, eat well and sleep well but i feel tired all the time. i do have quite a stressful job but i cant belive that this is the route of all my problems. i was thinking perhaps i have a food allergy or something - any advice please.
Victim of Domestic Voilence
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06/10/2009 : God i hope he doesnt see me writing this he will go mad. help me my husband hates me doing anything even going to the shops. he has not actually hit me or anything but he has raised his hand alot and he shouts and screams in an arguement. i am very nervous and dont know where to turn i am so worried that if i speak to anyone he will find out and really hurt me.
my boyfriend is jealous of me
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07/10/2009 : Hello. I've just started university I am in my second week. My boyfriend is still at home and h was very jealous of me moving away to university. He rings me about 15 times a day. We are supposed to turn our phones off in seminars and lectures but if I do that he thinks I am avoiding him and gets more jealous. What do you think I should do? How do I get him to clam down and trust me?
Is Prostitution Legal
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08/10/2009 : I am a single mum, with a daughter of 8. My husband ran off with a younger woman and left me to pay the bills on my own. A friend who i have recently met just told me that she has sex with men for money. She didnt describe herself as a prostitute but i am not sure why she isnt. She suggested that i could help her out with a few of the men she entertains and i think i could do it. my main concern is not having sex with strange men but i wouldnt want to do anything illegal. is it illegal to have sex for money ?
Crazy in love not returned
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11/10/2009 : There is this charming young girl that am in with, i told her my fillings 4 her but she seems sturbon. She says she loves me but she is not prepared 4 any relationship. Am crazy 4 her and i cant wait 2 have her. Please help me with ur reliable solutions.
Best Friend
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11/10/2009 : Last year I moved from London to Manchester because of studies and I left my best friend behind in London, hopeing that we would remain in touch. My friend has always lived in London but her parents are from Pakistan (although living in London and she lives with them there). She was born and raised in London. Throughout my time living in London we were very close and considered each other best friends. We spent most of our free time together, although the only place we ever met was at her home because she was never "allowed" to go anywhere else.
This friend helped me with so many things in London and promised to stay in touch and visit me when I moved to Manchester. Now she never even sends me a text message unless I chase her and never replies to my emails. I often send her very long emails full of news etc but she never replies..On special occasions I send her text messages to say "did you get my emails?" and "how are you?"..She normally replies to the texts with a few words saying something like "...Sorry for not being in touch earlier, but I promise to email you tomorrow/next week.
" - it never happens! This has been going on for a year! I'm now tired of chasing her, I feel that the friendship is one-sided and I'm the only one making the effort. I'm due to go for a visit to London in a couple of weeks and because I'll be very busy there (with lots of errands, paperwork, and things to do) I have decided just to meet up and go out with the 2 friends who DO keep in touch. I thought about calling the "best friend" and inviting her out to catch up but past experiences showed me that her parents don't let her out of the house to socialise in the evenings or to visit other friends' homes.
When I lived near her in London we ALWAYS had to meet in her home, on her terms because her parents refused to let her go out in the evenings. I don't mean late in the evenings, even like 7pm-9pm was out of the question to them! Whenever I invited her to out for coffee or over to my home to watch a movie she would say "no, it's forbidden to go out in the evening, i'm not allowed"...Therefore it because almost impossible for me to have a social life with this friend who always said we were best friends.
Her life was too restrictive. The dilema is now that I'm planning to visit London and will be mega-busy should I contact her or not? Because of her restricitive lifestyle she used to monopolise my time in London - for example if I wanted to see a few different friends in a group together she would refuse to come out with us but instead would expect me to cancel my plans and go to her house instead of seeing my other friends. None of my other friends had such reclusive lifestyles and were free to do what they wanted when it came to socialising (halal things like cafes, shopping etc.
.) I was thinking of arraning a group get-together at Pizza Hut for all my friends to meet me at the same time (as I'm afraid of not having enough time to visit everyone individually) but I know that friend will say something like "I'm not allowed to go to Pizza Hut because men will be there (employees, not my friends!) and I'm not allowed out in the evening. We are both from Muslim backgrounds (I'm Iranian) and both she and her family have a strange interpretation of Islam - such as saying it's wrong for her to be out of the house after sunset to visit friends etc.
This is NOT true! My friend is 29 years old and is well-educated with a good job. I really so frustrated, so would really appreciate any advice. Thanks, Azadeh :)
Arguing with my parents
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12/10/2009 : Hello. My parents are in their sixties. I did not see them for years until I had a baby with my partner. Now I go there every weekend. All they do is judge me and are negative about the way I deal with my child. They never mention all the good things I do, they just focus on the negative. It has become a eral chore to visit them although my baby loves them. Advise please?
I want a relationship with my tutor
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12/10/2009 : I am in my second year at university. All last year one of my tutors was flirting with me. I am 35 she is a bit younger. Afetr a while I got her email adress and started a dialogue. Things moved on and eventually I asked her out for about 3 weeks ahead. The night before she blew me out. We were trying to re-arrange it when she said she could not do the next 2 weeks because she would be on honeymoon!! I can't believe I read the signals wrong, I'm reasonably eperienced with women. What was she playing at? Has anyone else ever had anything like this happen to them? I suppose I should let it go now.
None
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13/10/2009 : One of my best friends from back home in Iran is being hassled into a marrying an awful guy from London. Basically, this guy and his mother met my friend when they were visiting Iran as tourists last year. They met her through her father who works in the tourist industry. Ok, the mother liked my friend and asked if she was single - to which yes replied "yes". The mother of the London guy then kept asking my friend if she would consider marrying her son but she wasnt keen as she's still at uni and doesn't even speak English properly.
The London guy is from a Pakistani-origin family but has always lived in London. There is a clear language barrier between them because he doesn't speak Farsi (the Iranian language) and my friend knows just very basic English. His mum seemed really pushy for my friend to marry him (I think because he's almost 30, not attractive, quite dull and has struggled to meet girls in London). Anyway, my friend said she'd prefer an Iranian husband but the London mum kept calling her and asking her to give her son a chance although they have nothing in common and can't even speak a common language! My friend then asked me "What if I say no, maybe nobody else will ever ask me for my hand in marriage?" I said don't be silly, you're only 21 and very pretty, half the men in Iran would love to marry someone like you! She seemed to be half-considering the London guy just out of politeness so as not to upset his mum and partly because she was worried about getting left on the shelf.
Her own parents gave her the freedom to make her own mind up, they never hassled or pushed her into anything. I was shocked 2 days later when she called to say that she agreed to marry him! I know she can do so much better and it upsets that she's settling for just the 1st person who asks her (it wasn't even him that asked - it was his mum!). The London family have now started applying for the visa for my friend ot move from Iran to the UK..They are pushing it all through so quickly and talking about the whole thing like its a business deal.
She has been my friends since we were 5 and has always had so much potential and always said she dreamed of falling in love with an amazing man...Now all that has gone out of the window What can I do to make her see sense and believe that it's not necessary to accept a proposal out of politeness or through fear of being left on the shelf. I heard that sham marriages are reported to the immigration police by UK registrars when it is suspected that the bride and groom don't know each other and can't communicate.
..I'm scared this will happen to my friend and that she will get arrested. Also, when the London family can't produce proof of a "relationship" between the girl and man when applying for her marriage visa..It's all a farce and a sham. The london mum is trying to rush it all through mega-fast because she knows that her son has struggled for years to get married. It strikes me as somehow fraudulent, and nobody has stopped to actually ask my friend about her feelings. She told me she doesn't love him but will get used to him, that he's a "quiet man from a nice family.
.." It seems a huge risk to take for a guy that she's not even in to! She simply says "I'll get used to him..." as though resigning herself to less than she deserves. It breaks my heart, what can I do?
FRIENDS
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21/10/2009 : I WANT 2 GET FRIENDS IN UK U.S.A WHAT CAN I DO . I WILL BE VERY HAPPY IF REPLY MEASSAGE.
Should I go bankrupt?
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22/10/2009 : Hello. I am 28 and have no job, I lost it 3 months ago. I have not made any payments to my cards and the bank has frozen my account. I have besn working in a pub for cash. How do I go bankrupt? Does it cost anything? Where do I find out about it?
no more
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24/10/2009 : i dont want to hurt him hes very lovely but not for me
Caring for my sick Mother
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25/10/2009 : Hello. I am a 46 year old woman. 2 years ago I had a life then my husband left me and my children moved out all in the same 6 months. I could not cope so I went to live with my Mum. Over the last year she has become very ill and now she needs my full time care. I can't leave as she needs me, bu suddenly, from having a full life I am reduced to looking after my Mum 24/7 and I never goet to go out or have any type of life. Does anyone have any advice/help please?
Does my daughter have an eating disorder?
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25/10/2009 : Hello. My daughter is 14. She used to play sports and have a healthy appetite. Over the last year she has given up all sport and never seems to eat anything anymore. She is very secretive and spends all her time in her room. She has got a lot thinner, how can I find out if she has a eating problem without breakingher privacy? Is there anyone I can get in touch with?
Help I don't want baby
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25/10/2009 : I am 19 and have been going out with a 29 year old girl for 6 months. She was the first girl I had sex with now she says she is pregnant and its mine. She said she was on the pill. I do not want a baby what should I do?
What are my redundancy rights?
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25/10/2009 : I am 46 year old man and I have worked at my company for 3 years. There are rumpours going around that there may be redundancies soon and I think I will be 1 to go. How do I find out how much they will owe me?
What is self harm?
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25/10/2009 : I am 19 year old girl. My friend keeps on getting tatoos. She is becoming covered in them. She does not even go to a proper tattoist she gets her friend to do them and they look terrible.Its like she cant stop herself. How can I help her and is this self harm?
Am I pregant
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29/10/2009 : Hello I am 15 and had sex foer the first time last weekend. I did nbot mean to I was drunk. How can ifind out if I am pregnant
Am I about to be made redundant?
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29/10/2009 : I am 34. Evey day for the last 6 months I have gone to work thinking I am about to be made redundant. Alot of my colleagues already have been. I cannot stand it, why won't they just ell me if I am being sacked? I cannot sleep and I do not know what I would do if I was laid off. Any advise?
Am I self harming?
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29/10/2009 : I have been at university for 6 weeks. We have these seminars where we are supposed to speak up with an opiniion. I am too shy and the tutor is starting to notice. When I get back to my room if I stick a pin in my self the pain calms me down. I know this is wrong what should I do?
Am I gay?
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29/10/2009 : I am 22 year old man and have had sex with 2 women one of them was a relationship. I like spending time with men rather than women but I do no think thyat I want to sleep with men. Am I gay? Should I try being with a man
How can I get to see my children?
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29/10/2009 : I split with my wife 3 years ago we have 2 childre. For the first year everything was reasonably I saw the kids at the weekend.Then she met a man and now she has made excuses for me not to see the children. They go out as if they are a family and they are his children. I still pay massive maintenance even thought hey both work and have more money than me. I pay money but dont see my children. How can I sort this befor they start ti think that he is their Dad?
Where can I find easy women
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29/10/2009 : I just want to have sex with girls I do not want a relationship. How can I meet them? Are there any sites I can go to that will help?
Am I entitled to any money?
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29/10/2009 : I have been living with my boyfriend in his flat for 3 years. He wants me to mov out and I have bought lots of things for the flat. Am I entitled to half what is there? Help please.
Am I suffering from stress?
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29/10/2009 : I cannot sleep since I lost my job. Sometimes I get tunes in my head that are so loud I think other people may be able to hear them. Is this stress?