December 2009
hello
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01/12/2009 : hello
My Family is not good
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02/12/2009 : My Family is not good
My family is not good
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02/12/2009 : My family is not good
I am very lazy in my work.
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02/12/2009 : I am very lazy in my work.
I am very lazy in my work.
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02/12/2009 : I am very lazy in my work.
None
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09/12/2009 : I have just started at University this year. I am 18 years old. I am doing English Literature and there are some mateure students with us. One of them is a man who must be at least 44. Idid not notice him at first but I have been talkiong to hoim a lot over the last few weeks and I now have a real crush on him. I go red whenever I spek to him and I am sure he has noticed Do oyu think he could be interested in someone as young as me? How do I find out?
My wife wants a divorce
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09/12/2009 : I have been married for 4 yeras and I found out last month that my wife has had 2 affairs since we have been together. She said she had to tell me. After thinking about it I decided to forgive her and try to make the marriage work. She has now decided that she does not wan to be with me anymore. Can she diveorce me even though it was her who was unfaithful? I still love her and want to keep her. I said to her I will even let her see other men if ahe will only stay with me. Can anyone help?
Lonely in London
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09/12/2009 : My girl left me and went home to live in Eseex with her parents. We moved to London together 4 years ago and my family did not like her so I lost touch with them. Now I have no-one. What can I do?
I wish I had not left my wife
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11/12/2009 : I left my wife and 3 year old son 2 years ago for a woman I met at work. Now I don't know why I did it. I thought everything was ok until I went on holiday this summer. I woke uo one morning about half way through the holiday and realise what a mistake I had made. Now my new girlfriend thinks soemthing is wrong and I know my wife would not want me back. I don't know how to move my life forward. Advice please.
Do I smell?
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11/12/2009 : I am 14 and soem of the popular girls at school have spread about the rumour that I smell. I cannot smell anything and no-one has ever said this to me before. How can I find out? I read somewhere that you cannot smell yourself. Is this true?
How can I control my son?
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11/12/2009 : I am a 27 year old single mum and I have a 8 year old son. I seem to lose every battle with him recently. It has got to the point where I give in to him before we have even started discussing what he wants to do. He just keeps on until I give in. I know this will only get worse, but I don't know what to do. Has anyone had anything like this happen to them and if they have what did they do about it?
Am I addicetd to painkillers
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11/12/2009 : I stopped drinking about 8 months ago. I used to take codeine based painkillers when I got a hangover. Eve since I stopped drinking I have started to take these painkillers more and more. I now take about 20 a day. Are they addictive? I have heard of a thing called transference where you substitute one addiction for another. Could I have done this? Who should I talk to?
Too old for sex?
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11/12/2009 : Hello, I am a 56 year old virgin. I have had relationships with men, soem which lasted a long time but I never had full sex. I did manyb things but never that. I am getting curios as I get older and I wan to know what sex is like. How can I do this without exposing myself to risk?
Do I believe in God?
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11/12/2009 : I was brought up as a Catholic which out me off religion for a long time. Now I am getting older I can see the point of confession and I am being drawn back to it. It feels like a cop out just because I am getting older. Do younthink that this is what it is or am I really being drawn to God?
I don't want to get married
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11/12/2009 : My boyfriend proposed to me a year ago. Ever since we told our families it's all anyone ever talks about. In fact it's all we ever talk about as well. It's like it has taken over our lives and I hate it. I don't think things are going to be the same after we get married. I want things back like they were before, it's not like we went out for long before we decided to get married. I don't think we had enough fun before it got serious and now I think it's all messed up.
Shall I ask her to marry me?
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11/12/2009 : I have been going out with my girlfriend for 2 years. Recently we seem to have lost our way a bit, we seem to be having the same conversations over and over. I still love her, do you think I should aske her to marry me? This would liven things up maybe?
I don't want this baby or the father
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11/12/2009 : Hello, I am 24 and have been going out with my boyfriend for 2 years almost. The other day I decided he was boring and I was going to split up with him, at least for a while. I felt a bit sick told a friend who said did I think I was pregnant. I checked and it looks like I am. I don't know what to do now. Should I tell heim or just have a termination without telling him? I know if I told him he would just be all happy and want us to be together as a family and I cannot think of anything worse. Although I do not have any money and I need soem for the termination.
What should I do?
to bee or not to bee
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14/12/2009 : What would rather be or a wasp?
Am I being bullied?
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14/12/2009 : I have been working at my company for 6 months. Evrything was OK at first. Over the last 3 weeks my immediate boss has been messing me about. Agood example would be the other day. In front of everyone he asked me if I wanted a cup of coffee. When I said I did he said to get him one while I was there. Everyone laughed including me. Then he said no, he was not joking and to go and get him one now. Evryone went quite and I had to do it. Ifelt really stupid. Is he bullyinh me?
What is an IVA?
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14/12/2009 : Does anyone know what an IVA is? I have been told I owe so much money I have to get one. Advice please?
How much do they owe me?
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14/12/2009 : I have been working at my company for 18 years. I have just been told that I will be made redundant at the beginning of next year. They would not tell me how much they were going to pay me. Can anyone tell me how much they are legally bound to give me? What is the calculation?
Dont love baby
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14/12/2009 : I gave birth to a lovely baby boy 9 months ago. I have never felt close to the baby. I thought this would chaange as time went by but it has not. Iam starting to feel really bad about it, like there is something wrong with me. Who can I talk to about this? I do not want people to judge me as a Mum.
None
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15/12/2009 : I recently sold my car and I get taxis everywhere. I had ana argument with this bloke in the pub the other night. I thiught that it was greener to get taxis everywhere but he says it is not. Can anyone help with this please?
I can't lose weight
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15/12/2009 : At the beginning of this year I went on a diet because my boyfriend said I was too fat. I have been trying to lose weight all year but I have not managed it. He says he will leave me at the new year unless I lose 2 stoen between now and then. I will not be able to do this by the new year. Can anyone help me lose this weight by Christmas?
Can't relax for Christmas
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15/12/2009 : 25 people were laid off from my work over the last 3 months. We have been told that there will be no more redundancies until the new year. I think I will be one of the ones laid off in thr new year. I cannot enjoy Christmas with this hanging over me. How Can I get them to tell me what they are going to do in the new year?
Am I a lesbian?
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15/12/2009 : I am a 33 year old woman and I have been living with my boyfriend for 4 years. For the last 2 months I ask him to turn out the light when we make love so that I can pretend that it is this 19 girl from work with me. It gets me really hot and I don't fancy men anymore. Am I a lesbian?
My children won't come home.
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15/12/2009 : Both my children left home this year. They left under a bit of a cloud and they have not been in touch. I want them to come home for Christmas. How can I get in touch with them?
I can't talk to my ex
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16/12/2009 : I split up with my girrlfriend 2 years ago. We have a son together so we have to try and get along. Every time we try and discuss anything about our son it ends up in a huge row. It seems we always end up shouting about huge issues when we were just supposed to be talking about a off tim or something. How can I stop this happenning?
Am I fat?
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16/12/2009 : I am 15 years old and I weigh 7 stone. I am a funny shape. All my friends say I have a fat bum. How can I when I weigh so little? How can I lose more weight?
Do I have to get married?
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16/12/2009 : I have been living with my girlfriend for 7 years. She says we have to get married before we can have a baby. She says she will not sleep with me until we are married now. I do not want to get married. What is the point? What would change? How can I explain this to her?
How can I tell if I am depressed.
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16/12/2009 : I have been living alone since my marriage ended 4 years ago. I thought I was OK but every time I go out I end up arguing with everybody. It's like I don't know how pissed off I am until I start talking to someone. What should I do?
I think my daughter is being bullied
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18/12/2009 : My daughter is 11. She used to love school and talk to me about it all the time. Over this term she has become more and more withdrawn and does not talk to me about it any more. The other day when I asked her what was wrong she just looked like she was about to start crying and said everything was ok. How can I get her to open up to me?
How easy is it to go bankrupt?
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18/12/2009 : I owe over 50,000. My family do not know about this. Is it possible to go bankrupt without anyone finding out? I need to do it quick before I lose my house. Help please?
Am I too old for her
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18/12/2009 : Hello. I am 38 and there is agirl at work who Ireally like we get on really well. She goes out of her way to speak to me and really seems to enjoy my company, as I do hers. The problem is she is only 22. How do I tell if she is just being friendly or if she is interested in more? I do not want to spoil our friendship.
Don't want to go home
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18/12/2009 : Iam 48 and have been married for 5 years, have 2 small children. I hate the thought of going home these days, I do anything to avoid it. I think I love my family I just cannot take them at the nd of a busy day. Who can I talk to about this? Is this all life has to offer? I think I am going mad.
I am being made redundant
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18/12/2009 : I have been working at the same company for 30 years. They have told me that they are going to lay me off in the new year. Do you think I should bother to look for another job as they are giving me a huge payout?
I thought divorce would be the end
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18/12/2009 : I got divorced 6 years ago. We had a child. I seem to spend more time talking to my ex than I did before. It's like some sort of eartbound hell. Will I ever escape fro this woman?
Hard to make friends
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18/12/2009 : I have been at sixth form college for a term now. I came from outside the area. No-one wants to be my friend. I thought it would be different at sixth form and that people would be more friendly than they were at school. This is no the case and I am finding it very hard to make friends. Has anyone giot any advice as to how I can get past this problem?
What are my rights?
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18/12/2009 : I split rom my partner 18 months ago. We have a son. Christmas did not matter last year as I was away. This year she says I connot see hom on the day. Can I force this in any way or do I have to go to court and get an order?
Should I split now?
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18/12/2009 : I want to leave my girlfriend, I have met soemone else. The new girl wants us to spend Christmas together. I cannot work up the nerve to leave my old girl right before Christmas. Can anyone help me? I cannot believe that I am the only person this has ever happenned to.
Alone 3 months pregnant
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18/12/2009 : I am 3 months prgnant. My boyfrien left me 1 week ago when I was about to tell him. He still does not know. I feel so bad what with Christmas coming and everything. I do not know what to do. Help please
My best friend is gay
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18/12/2009 : I have just found out that my best friend is gay, or so he says. I feel unconfortable going out with hiom alone now, or sleeping at his flat. We used to share the same bed and everything without a thought. How can I get over what I know is my problem?
Why do I still have to deal with my ex?
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21/12/2009 : I split from my ex because I cannot stand anything about her. Now it's Xmas, because we have a child together then we have to see each other. I can't stand it. Can anyone think of anything I can do to sort out this situation?
Give Up on Mother
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23/12/2009 : My upbringing in my childhood years was hurtful from my Mom, saying things like “I wish you were never born”,“you were adopted”, “why can’t you be more like your brother” (8 years older), “why can you be more like ____” (a family friend’s child who was the same age). She claims she was a “good” mother, but any Mother who can say hurtful things like that, isn’t really a good Mother. It is obvious that I was a mistake….
and she was there to remind me of it. SHE NEVER SAID ANYTHING LIKE THAT TO MY BROTHER….it was apparent growing up that she favored my brother over me. I vowed that I would never treat my children that way (I now have 4, all in their twenties) and I never did….you can crawl out of the quagmire if one chooses. Over 35 years ago, my only brother (8 years senior) was married to an overbearing woman, who demanded at that time “she will get married whenever and wherever she wants” and really had no consideration for our friends and family who may have wanted to attend the wedding at a church (she wanted to get married on a Friday by a Justice of the Peace).
We suggested a Saturday, of which she flatly refused. This caused a lot of tension between my parents and her (and my brother)….this was the beginning of not so beautiful relationship. A few years later I married, and my wife and I started a family. It was around this time that my brother and his wife did not have any contact with my parents. Yet once a child was born to them, my parents welcomed them back – their first grandchild. I attempted to have a relationship with my brother, but his wife interfered with it (not inviting us to any family get togethers…however HER side of the family was always invited).
For the next several years, we always had to invite ourselves to their kid’s birthday parties, and we would have to contact them to invite them to our kid’s birthday parties…..basically a one way street. I stopped phoning them one time to invite ourselves to THEIR kid’s birthday party….and they never phoned again. After having been married and having 4 children, I lost my job after 23 years, and decided to go into business (with the blessing of the bank). I asked my brother, who is a Charted Account, to look over the books of this business I was going to buy….
he never got back to me, but I went ahead anyway. Due to unforeseen circumstances, two years later, we went bankrupt, and we had to go into rental housing to accommodate our family. (NOTE: My brother keeps criticizing my decision to go into business, blaming me for the bankruptcy and that I was over my head….this was far from the truth, however he never gave me any advice as I asked him BEFORE I went into business. He also has stated that no one should help me out of my dilemma). Around this time, my Dad passed away.
My brother’s wife’s true colors came out, saying some hurtful things to my Mom and had no regard to what my Mom was going through at the time. Then the rental house (after 3 years) was being sold and we had to vacate, my Mom offered to help us out with purchasing another home via taking out a mortgage on her home. I accepted (ensuring that the mortgage that she took out was enough to cover her expenses for one year, giving her enough time to sell her home and payback the mortgage she took out).
Then she changed her mind after a year, and had to borrow money from other friends to lessen the monthly payments. After my brother and wife snooped around her bank book (while she was in the hospital on one occasion), they confronted my Mom asking “why did you loan so much” and “did they need so much money”. It was really none of their business. Also, after my Mom helped us out she figured she “owned” me, or that I “owed” her for anything that I had to do in her (going shopping, running errands etc).
I feel that I don’t owe her anything, directly due to the upbringing I received from her, but she has always given some money to us with strings attached….I should have learned. When my older brother found out about the “helping out” that my Mom did, and he and his wife accused me of taking advantage of my Mom, not leaving enough in her bank to take care of her – my brother’s wife has also said that she has NO respect for me. I did not take advantage of my Mom….
It so far from the truth, and really none of my brother’s or his wife’s business. But the point to this….I received my brother’s OK when my Mom offered to help us out, ensuring his share of the inheritance would be in place, but he has conveniently forgotten this (especially in front of his overbearing and controlling wife). Now, every time that my brother sees my Mom, both he and his wife badmouth me, and my Mom does nothing to defend me…all she cares about is the amount of help she can get from my brother and his wife….
not what’s right or wrong…and my Mom constantly compares my wife to my brother’s wife….how my brothers wife is a hard worker, good mother, yet forgets what ill treatment she received from her…..my Mom is more interested in how much help she receives from my brother and his wife. Just to let you know…my Mom, although mentally fit, her physical abilities to walk without assistance is non-existent, and requires a barrage of social workers coming to her home on a daily basis.
To summarize: My Mom is self centered, and really only cares about who is around to help her. She will not defend me in front of my brother and wife, criticizes my wife for the lack of help she gives to my Mom. She feels that any money that was given to me and my family over the years requires a devoting to helping her out whenever she feels the need. Again…so many strings attached….never really out of the goodness of her heart. She regrets loaning the money to help purchase our home, as it has caused an unnecessary riff between her and my brother….
it seems to me that she still favors my brother over me. I think my next step should be to totally give up on my Mom and brother, and carry on with my life without them. I have given up on my brother…both him and his wife has said they don’t want anything to do with me or my family….and this was before the “helping out” was discovered. What is your opinion?
Just online friends?
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28/12/2009 : I will try to keep this as short as possible: I am in a relationship with a guy from work, for more than six years now. We have no problems whatsoever, we never argue, which I find quite important especially considering that we are together almost day and night, though we do not live together. At some point I started working with a guy from a subsidiary of our company abroad he is a bit older in age, very handsome (from pics), divorced and very interesting. Our professional chats ended up being a day-to-day (and evening, and weekend) hourly discussions through IM.
He had become such a strong habit, he has literally been a very significant part of my world for the past 2+ years. However, all this time he had never asked if I am in an affair or anything, though I suspect that he knew, my relationship with my boyfriend is not a secret in the company. In general, from his side he was almost always the one to initiate the daily talking routine, but he never gave me any compliments, and never tried to take this whole thing to a different, more romantic, level. Anyway, this past summer I went on holidays, when I returned he never spoke to me as much again (I had gone on holidays previously and didnt seem to matter).
As this heavily reduced communication was getting me frustrated more and more, a couple of months ago I clearly said that I want to meet him and he gave a reply of 'sometime, we will see' kind of. Since then, he only spoke to me once, for work, and never again. I didn't start any conversation either, as I really felt that this should transform into something else or end. But, what troubles me is that I simply can't get this out of my mind I think of him all the time, though I know most likely he is with someone now and my asking to meet put him off.
And then I ask myself, why was he keeping in touch with me for so many hours every day and for so long, if he never wanted anything else? Was I just an online friend, someone to talk to? This whole affaire has troubled me so very much and I can't seem to get out of it - I would very much appreciate any advice for at least helping me understand this person and his behaviour toward me. Thanks!
I think I am going to be made redundant in the new year.
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30/12/2009 : Just before we broke for Xmas the boss at where I work said there was going to be big changes when we come back in January. I am scared that I will lose my job when I go back. I can't tll my family and we have spent way too much over Xmas even if I had a job to go back to. I feel luke runnung away, what can I do?
Worst Xmas
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30/12/2009 : I have just had the most miserable Xmas possible. I have not seen anyone since I left work at lunchtime on Xmas eve. The phone has not even rung. How can I make sure this does not happen again next year?. I did not think about it iuntil too late this year. Who can I contact so that I am not in then same state next year?
I feel God has found me.
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30/12/2009 : I went to midnight mass as usual with my family this year. I always go and don't believe in God and never have even felt remotely spritual. While I was sitting there daydreaming a voice said to me 'thanks for coming I will be looking out for you this year.' Could it have been God?
Where can I make freinds?
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30/12/2009 : I am new to this country. I am finding it very hard to meet any Somalis like my self. Are there any groups I can join in Manchester?
How soon will i know if i am pregnant
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30/12/2009 : I am 16. I had sex for the first time on Xmas eve. How long is it before I know whether I am pregnant so I can go and tell the boy and we can get married and get a council house?
How does self harming begin?
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30/12/2009 : I went to the Dr about 3 months ago and I had to have an injection. It was to calm me down because my Dad has died and I can't stop thinking about that. Ever since then I don't think about my Dad anymore I just think about how the needle felt when it went in. I don't want to inject myself with anything I just want to feel that needle go in again. I think any way. What should I do?
I can't stand my children
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30/12/2009 : This Xmas has been a nightmare. I live alone and like it that way. For some stupid reason I invited my grown up kids over for Xmas with their partners and children. I thought that I was going mad, I hated it, I never want to see any of them again. Is that bad? I will probably be dead soon, why should I spend time with these philistine leeches?