February 2012
Am I still in love?
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06/02/2012 : Hello, I'm a 24-year-old gay male and I've been going out with the same man for the past 7 months. My boyfriend, who's 34 years old, is a great guy and at the beginning, I was extremely in love with him. We spent a a month in the same city when we first met and then I left to start a Masters in a city that was two hours away we still managed to see each other every weekend. I came back a month ago to be with him and I'm now taking online classes. However, over the holidays, I started wondering if he were the right guy for me.
The fireworks seem to have disappeared although I still think about him very often, now I wonder if I'm still in love. It stresses me a lot. I also work as a translator, which means that during the day, I work and study from home. As a result, I don't get to see a lot of people. Any advice? How can I know if I'm still in love?
How can I move on from here, when I'm so shy of this guy and feel like he is not interested?
Replies: This question has 2 responses
07/02/2012 : I've liked this guy for sometime now ever since he asked me out to prom and he knows I have a crush on him, but a few days ago he was talking to his group of friends (boys/girls) behind me and they called me and he just blurts out 'Sorry I'm moving' to me.. they all seemed kind of shocked and one of the girls said 'you can't just say it to her like that' After he spoke to me and I told him not to worry and that I got the hint about going out.. he asked me why I get upset about things and i said i was just just dissapointed he didn't like me the way I did to him- he then replied with I didn't say I didn't and I said you didn't say you did either.
. Then the next thing he said made me confused, he said 'Didn't it occur to you that I might no know myself?' - What does this mean? We continued to speak a few times after but its always just basic conversation with no kisses and he doesn't make up much of the conversation but always clicks on me first, he looks at me alot and smiles and he used to take things of mine.. His friends used to rib me and ask if we were to go out or not and one said he was to shy to ask me and that I should ask him, however when I ask my crush this he denied and said I had been the one asking his friends.
. Anyway I'm really confused on if he likes me, and if he does or doesn't what I should do? Thank you
I'm worried that my gay best friend might becoming on to me, what should I do?
Replies: This question has 4 responses
08/02/2012 : Okay where to start. I started my first year at a new college in 2010 (having just left a two year course at a different college) and that's where I met him. He was really friendly and chatted non stop to a point where i was find it hard to keep up, haha. I wasn't attracted to him, he was just an acquaintance. He told me soon after we met that he was gay but he'd only recently come out and he's apparently been bi before because he couldn't fully accept it. We have gradually gotten closer and closer and now I don't think my life would be complete without him, (still i didn't have any romantic feeling for him, i saw him like more of a brother).
We've know each other for quite a while now so i thought i had him figured out. However things have started to change. First I though it was in my mind but over the past few weeks I can't help getting the feeling that he's be subtly flirting with me. He's more cuddly, he keep staring at me and smiling when he think i can't see him then quickly looking away from me i turn to him and such. He had a house party for his 18th and so we all got quite drunk and he turned to me and said with quite an intense stare 'you're the only exception' but it was under his breath and i don't think he expected me to hear so when i asked him what he meant he just kinda smiled and walked away.
It seems so obvious and yet he's often telling me about his aversion to women and yet... I'm not sure what to do now
My friend is threatening to ruin my life??
Replies: This question has 3 responses
18/02/2012 : So my "friend" (Shelia) was dating one of my other friends (Nick) for about 5 months and she had always been really mean and I had just ignored it. When I say mean I mean MEAN. Shelia would call us ugly. Bi***s, Whores, sluts (we are not AT ALL), tell us no one like us, tell my friend (with a mom that is sick and is in a mental hospital from a disease) that her mom just faked being sick to get away from her. She was always really mean and would tell each of us (in our “cliché”) that we were talking about each other behind their backs (we aren't) to get us to turn on each other.
So we would just ignore it because if we said something she would yell, cry, threaten to ruin our lives, tell people our secrets, say we are ganging up on her, etc. You might be like “why would you still be friends with her” well IDK. I think she just guilts you into it. I honestly don’t know. So her Nick tried breaking up with her a few times but Shelia would guilt him back into dating her and he finally just made it final and they are over now. So she was calling him horrible names, saying everyone hated him, she hated him, and much worse (he showed me the texts) but she would tell everyone she was only dating him to see how long it would last (not true).
So today I went to the movies with him and a few other people and she found out and got really mad (over text) called me names and said i had to choose between her and Nick I said “i am not going to choose” Shelia said “if you don’t choose me I will make your life a living hell” Then, I said “I am not choosing between you 2” Shelia then said “If a guy forced you into touching them, and many other things like…BJ,anal, Etc. after you repeatedly said no.
Broke up with you, asked out 2 of your best friends, said: now I can take advantage of your slutty friends. Then went to the movies with people you thought you could trust. I think you would be pi**ed the F**k off too. Now goodbye.” (BTW He did ask out 2 of her friends AFTER they were over (like a day after which is rude but still…) I then called my friend (niki) to tell her what Shelia said, and Niki said she had texted her the same thing and that she couldn’t believe Nick did that and that Shelia told her that if she ever hung out with Nick (who is our friend) again she would tell the person Niki is in love with she liked him, would then try to make out with him, and tell everyone her secrets, along with calling her horrible names.
I told her she did the same to me and that I didn’t know if I could believe her or not because I felt like she would make the stuff up about Nick just to get her way because she does that stuff all the time. She always brings up that her mom died and her dad left whenever we disagree or say one tiny thing she doesn’t like. I just don’t know what to do and I don’t know if I should believe Nick made her do those things or not. Because I want to know if I can be friends with Nick still.
But she is threatening to ruin my life and I am confused. I know I can’t be friends with her, I don’t want to but, she WILL ruin my life.. Please just help me figure out what to do..
Is this phase in my relationship normal?
Replies: This question has 2 responses
24/02/2012 : I have been with my boyfriend for nearly three years. We've been on and off during the first two years, and this last year, we've progressed to something very beautiful. Unfortunately, we've been separated because of my job for a few months and I'm in Europe, and he's in the states. We've both agreed that we would keep thorough contact with eachother, and we usually text, but I feel like that isnt enough. We agreed on our engagement, but recently called it off because of his jitters. This completely crushed me because in a way I felt like I've dealt with so much, that I'd deserved that ring.
I'm more stable than he is, financially and a bit emotionally. I really believe that I love him, but I am afraid that we won't get married as soon as I'd hope. What am I doing wrong? Is this normal?
What should I do about my stress about school life?
Replies: This question has 1 response
25/02/2012 : I really just need a second opinion about my situation. I always had trouble getting along with classmates (who are my age) and making new friends. I've always seem to make friends outside of my classroom, and my classmates like to gossip, be cruel, and pick at my faults behind my back, no matter how nice I am. I thought being in college would be different for me, but its almost the same as the years before that. Don't get me wrong, I have friends, but their in different colleges or in my school, but not in my classroom.
I really don't want to go through with this another year. I'm applying to animation, which is my dream career/job. I want to be comfortable in a classroom, no matter what happens. I try to do things like practice speaking in class and presentations, but I don't really see any progress. Maybe I'm too impatient. And when it comes to self-esteem, I'm just breaking out of my shell. I want to enjoy what's left of my youth. I have had some good times, but these situations and school seem to have put me down all these years.
And it doesn't help that when it comes to school, college work and portfolio work I stress out like crazy.I just want a second opinion or a few tips if possible.