April 2010
Worried about son's spendthift woman
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02/04/2010 : My 26 year old son, who lived at home until 7 months ago, met a women at work who is 8 years older, has two young children, 5 and 8, is still not officially divorced, is a huge spend thrift type personality, has always had abusive partners etc etc and my son has moved in and within these few months is trying to have a baby with her, even though he tells me he hates her children (he dosn't really show the children this), joined finances together, they both work full-time, made a home together, even though she is still not divorced, changed EVERYTHING about himself, eg personality wise and wants to change his last name as well because our family name is not good enough for her or any children he has, has never brought her to my home because I am not rich enough and he is embarrassed (granted I am poor), this is my son who until mid last year I had done everything for ie helped him get a good job, good credit rating etc, it hurts to feel like I do and I am having nightmares and feeling worthless.
He is not being nasty just acting so differently. He wants a baby and for me to help look after it whilst they work. They have so much debt now and alot of expense with her two children. I don't agree with any of this. I am not the mother-in-law from hell in any way but I am angry and upset. This whole thing is sooooo stupid!!! How do I cope with this?
Brother causing problems
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02/04/2010 : My brother is 21 and ever since he was younger he has purposely made my families life a living hell. He hit my mum tried to break her and my stepdad up and now ignored her for 4 years. He lived with my dad and stepmum until he tried to split them up and when he left he stole £100 after memorising the code to the safe. Yet again my dad has forgiven him and i don't no what to anymore. I can't watch him break my dads heart again and every time my brother leaves my heart breaks a little more. My family make endless excuses for him but as much as i love my brother i hate the person he's become and wish i never had to see him again.
By desperate sister (age 16)
Worried about gay relationship
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02/04/2010 : I am sixteen and both my brother and his friend are 21. My brothers friend has been living with us for 3 months. Everyone had gone out one day so whilst i was having a shower i used the shower head to masturbate and as i orgasamed my brothers friend hearing me scream came in. Ever since then although we know its wrong whenever everyone is out we go into the bathroom and he puts the shower on full blast to get me to orgasm. 2 weeks ago i was so turned on that whilst we were in the shower i got on my knees and gave him a blow job.
Afterwards he told me thst he couldn't do it anymore as he had fallen in love with me. I feel the same way about him and since then we have gone on 6 dates. I now feel ready to sleep with him but am afraid of what my family would do if they found out. I love him and he loves me so surely there is nothing wrong with that?
e.g. What should I do about my cheating boyfriend? Or How do I overcome my shyness at parties?
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09/04/2010 : Question detail - Write as much detail as possible here as you can.
registration is Sucessfully?
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09/04/2010 : Yes, Your registration Sucessfully?
Don't know what to do about liking my best guy friend as more?
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14/04/2010 : ok, so me and my best friend met just over a year ago when we were both 15. He's funny, sweet, makes me laugh when im in any mood, i adore his company, and i look foward to being with him. When we first me through our other friends we became pretty close. He's a very friendly person, so he gets on really well with every girl and guy i know. He's really liked among our massive group of friends as everyone thinks hes really funny etc. After we'd known eachother awhile we started to talk more and more, and all through summer holidays etc we'd meet with our friends.
At first he was my adorable best friend and i never saw him as anything else. We were close but i wasn't dissapointed as such if he wasn't with us one day or something. Over time i met other people and he had a random relatioship, but we never really went out with other people so to speak. Recently i've just started to see him in another way, something just seems to have cllicked in my mind and i've taken in everything about him i wouldnt usually notice. I enjoy his company without fail, its never awakward between us and we get on really well, and im 100% myself around him.
We're fine in a group or even when it's just us we always have somethin to talk about. The past few weeks especially i've been with him everyday after school hours, every weekend, and now in the holidays, and the feelings are growing stronger. My friends keep telling me to see how he acts around me, to read the 'signs' but its almost impossible with him because he is just all around friendly person. He's veryy touchy feely too, when he sees all his female friends hes always running to give them hugs and he always mocks and play fights with them etc.
So its difficult to say if he acts different around me. He tells his friends im his best girl friend, and i do the same to mine. Just the other weekend when we randomly got left alone we were walking to find other people, when we saw a friend of ours and she bought up the question of wether both of us would ever go out, and as i was expecting him to almost say no way, and step back i didnt react, but instead there was just silence and we looked at eachother, until he mentions we're best friends and she says exactly, your perfect.
After we just walked of and acted like it never happened, and we never talk about eachother in that way, i tried to see about his reaction but i was thinking maybe he just didnt say no because he didnt want to hurt my feelings? Theres so many unanswered questions i wish i knew, but overall i know i like him, and i dont know what to do about it? If i tell him or try to tell him it may make it completely awkward, and i know that with him theres no inbetween, he either really likes me or he just is my best friend nothing more.
But it's now getting worse and i think people can see aswell that i'm starting to really like him, as my descirption of him now when people ask why we're soo close is because hes the only person who can really make me feel happy and smile no matter what mood im in, and i think if someone can do that there pretty much worth it (: So need help on what to do? I know its long but im completely confused, am i his bestfriend who he just loves spending time with or am i more?
Why can't I hate my cheating boyfriend?
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14/04/2010 : My boyfriend of 8 yrs cheated on me. I found out just over a month ago. Both feeling confused, we decided to not give up on what we had, and give our relationship another go. 2 weeks ago I found out that he still wanted her. We have now split up and he's moved out. I am trying to move on with my life, but he's always on my mind. I know that it's only been 2 week and things will take time. But, why is it that the last time we talked, it was almost like we hadn't broken up. We were both feeling comfortable with each other, and could rationally discuss our situ.
We knew that things had changed between us. is this wrong? Should we be able to do this?
what abt the depression?
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18/04/2010 : Im going under severe depression. i got married as soon as i graduated and then got divorced just after 3 months.it has been almost 2 years of my divorce but i cant come out of that phase! m going into depression daily.ppl reject me coz of my status.at times i hate myself! i have lost interest in everything! i need help. i dont know wat to do!?
Stay or go?
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19/04/2010 : Hi, I am in a really hard situation. The basic outline is that I met a man three years ago. I moved four hours away from my close family and friends and obtained a new job in his area. I also live in his house. My partner had been married before and went through a bitter divorce/custody battle over his daughter. The 6 year old eventually went to live abroad with her mother and new husband. My partner asked me to marry him shortly after and I accepted. I then became pregnant two months later which was planned.
I was also happy because although I do not like the idea of children being born out of wedlock, I knew that we would be married in two years and before our baby would know any different. He then changed his mind when I was 5 months pregnant, I flipped and became hysterical and angry threatening to leave (looking back I probably should have done at this point). He used this against me even more saying I was blackmailing him just like his ex-wife did by saying "marry me or I am leaving" (he married her and as she left him anyway he is cautious).
The rest of my pregnancy was pretty miserable and after our daughter was born I was left to do everything for her. He loves her but cannot seem to cope with her if she cries at all meaning that I never go anywhere or do anything for myself anymore. Anyway, I digress. He still does not want to marry me and I am beginning to think it would be a bad idea anyhow.He plays me a bit by saying "I am sure we will be married one day, I can't promise but it isn't out of the question" Please someone tell me is this fair??? I have constantly given into him.
For example, the baby has his surname which he was insistent upon. I stupidly agreed believeing that somehow he would see the sacrifice I had made (I absolutely hate the fact I have no name association with my daughter)....but he doesn't particularly care. I also look aftr his other daughter when she comes in the holidays as he is often at work. I am very close to her but I am finding myself beginning to feel resentful about doing this as I feel so unappreciated. Last time she was here his daughter joked around saying that it was so funny that I have a different surname to her, her baby sister and her Father.
I completely broke down and felt back to square one emotionally. My partner says that he has given me everyting I wanted.... a baby. (I won't even comment on that as I will cry). I have asked him to see a therapist with me but he will not and says that all the issues are in my head. When I tried to leave before he threatened me with calling the police and taking me to court and 'breaking me' (He has a lot of money....I do not. He made me feel guilty for both the children saying I will ruin his older daughter's life as she loves me and that I will ruin our daughters life for my own selfish greed of wanting a piece of paper that means nothing.
I do have a conscience and I am very worried about the effect on both children. I love him but I am scared that I will spend my whole life feeling worthless and punished for his first marriage going wrong. There is a good line in an Alanis Morisette song that I heard the other day.... "I don't want to be the band-ade if the wound is not mine" How true!!! If I leave I have been advised by a lawyer to go without saying anything as apparently he can get a court order to stop my daughter and I from leaving the county and returning to my family who as I said live four hours away.
(I would need to go there as that is where all my support structure is). I am nervous about physically leaving as he often pops home during the day. Has anyone else had to do this and leave without saying on a limited time frame? I am so frightened that I am going to stay in this hoping and hoping that things will change but I fear it will not. I also know that now that men have equal rights he will have a strong chance of gaining custody of our daughter once she is older and has started school etc.
..and he would fight me tooth and nail as well just like he did his other child. Advice please!!!! I know this is a complicated one! :)
Liking a boy, whos hung up on his ex or another girl?
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26/04/2010 : Okay so i met him about a year ago through a friend, we're both 16. at first we were pretty close but he lives about an hour and a half away by bus, and he cant get lifts down (only takes about twenty-thirty minutes then) so i dont see him as much as i'd like. We talk pretty much every night over text or msn, and we get on pretty well. When i first met him, his girlfriend he'd been with for a year, had just dumped him, and he was pretty cut up. But after time he said he got over it, and we got closer.
I pretty much see him every weekend, and every other day in holidays too. However i think he's still really into his ex, and she is stringing him along again, and hes falling for it. He always meets her, and talks about her. And i know that shes not really bothered about him and is pretty muchh using him. His best friend said he's really into someone, so its either his ex or another girl, he wouldnt tell me who which is fair enough, its not his secret to tell. But im pretty confused at the moment over what to do.
i cant tell him how i feel as i know that will completely ruin the friendship, and im not sure how he feels. We always joke around and flirt together with little private jokes, and he seems to be really into it, but then theres still this other girl? Also im worried about being in a relationship with him, hes had more experience with them than me, and even though hes not the type for pressure, i feel like he'd want more? help?