Question Detail: How shoud I cop with divorce while my wife depres for long time and now pregnant?

How shoud I cop with divorce while my wife depres for long time and now pregnant?

Hi, we have been married for 10 yrs,she was depresed on and out during these yrs we had problem and argument most of the time,i left home for 2weeks but she called me and cried,beg me to come back I came back ane 4 yrs ago we decided to have baby might it change our life but it got wors than before because she got sever post natal depression and took 2yrs misrable life. When she feel better she start argu again ,and start abus me emotionaly.she wanted second baby but I didn't realy I felt like passive and I gave up,now she is 4months pregnant.

we had very bad argument last week and she said you are nothing to me you can leave if you like. I left home again last week for the sake of my kid and really tierd of every day argument and shouting. She sent me few abusive message again while cring. now,what shall I Do? I don't like to go there. I am depres and want to get divors? Is this right decision for my situation after 10yrs?

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replies: This is a tough question but my gut feeling here is that it is better to try and get your wife's emotional and psychological problems sorted out rather than give up on ten years of marriage and the mother of your children, particularly as one has yet to be born! What medical intervention has she had to date? Does she regularly see a doctor? Does she want to be helped and prepared to stick with it? All sorts of things to be considered I guess .... but for now, you need to do your best for her. In many ways, she is probably crying out for your help and attention. Perhaps, just perhaps, if you gave her stability and support in your marriage, she may improve herself. You have got to give it a try, however hard it seems right now.

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Anonymous replies: You are in a very difficult position, mainly because of your child and the one you have on the way. It would be easy to say you should have done things diferently but that would be pointless, you just have to try and deal with the situation that you are in now. I feel the only way forward, whether you stay together or not is to seek couples therapy. This would help you communicate. Even if you do not stay together you have to be able to communicate for the sake of your children. Your wife's medical condition means that if you went to your GP you would most likely get a referral to a counsellor/therapsit without having to pay. I urge you to do this as soon as possible becaause of your wife's pregnancy. Remember you married her, you have a duty of care to her and your children no matter how horrible she is to you.

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