Question Detail: My boyfreind of 2 yrs has broken up with me, and a guy we both knew got in touch and told me its because he is gay - they used to get together

My boyfreind of 2 yrs has broken up with me, and a guy we both knew got in touch and told me its because he is gay - they used to get together

I went to school with my ex (I call him my ex he never fully commited to me) and we were really close friends, then when we got older things became more and we started seeing eachother. For a year I thought it was just because he wanted to be a 'lad' that he wouldn't let us be a couple so put it down to commitment issues. However another year past and I tried to move on but every time he was there as we have a lot of mutual friends. He wouldn't let me move on and would say he loved me and wanted to be with me etc.

And I would buy this time and time again. However recently a guy that we both went to school with got in touch (this is completely random as it has been years since I or my ex had seen/spoken to him) He asked the usual questions and when I said I was seeing my ex but he was being a bit of a twat and wouldnt commit, he said this could be because he is confused/gay I was in shock I knew that this guy was now out and had a boyfriend but the thought of my ex being gay had never crossed my mind. Then he said that he used to give BJ's to my ex for about 4 years at the end of school.

I pushed it to the back of my mind and continued the sherade with my ex. Then recently he ended it saying he cant commit and its not fair on me. He has only ever kissed 2 other girls when we have been together - I have slept with other people to try and get over him and he knows this but does not seem to care. Am I fighting a losing battle here is he gay or is he just confused and can I help him or do I just get out while I can?! Help!!!

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Cerberus replies: First of all, I agree with anonymous: he broke up with you, and he has been very difficult about commitment with you even before that, so what future do you see with him? I know how terrible you must be feeling right now, and you're trying to find hope wherever you can, but I think you're better off with some other guy. You cannot imagine it right now, but I guarantee that you will sooner or later meet a fantastic guy who will let you forget your ex. The sooner you get over him, the better. Don't contact him find distractions elsewhere, and try to date other guys when you're ready. As to whether he may be gay—who knows? The fact that this other guy gave him a BJ doesn't mean much for some people, so it is impossible to tell. Some boys play with each other when they're young because they want to experiment, because they can't get a girl, or because it just feels good. So try not to think about that: pick up your life and don't pursue this guy.

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Anonymous replies: I think you should not worry about whether he is gay or not, that is not actually relevant. Thye fact is that he is not willing to commit so you should go and find someone who is.

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