Question Detail: My child does not know who to choose

My child does not know who to choose

I have recently seperated from my wife, we have a 9 year old girl. I have always been very close to our daughter, my ex's relationship with her is more argumentative. Anyway, recently my daughter seems to feel that she has to choose between us. I have told her she does not bu this does not seem to have any effect. How can I convince her that none of this is her fault and that we both love her equally and she does not ave to choose between us?

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replies: This can be tough to resolve because it's an adult appealing to a child. My advice? tell your daughter that regardless of how each of you treats her, you will both always be her mum and dad for as long as you both live and as such you are both equally precious to her ( as you won't be there for ever ... even children need to understand that all life is finite ). Amplify the point that while her mum may be challenging to her, that's simply a fact of life, even loving mums don't always show it! As such, both of you have an equal and eternal place in her heart and there is absolutely no need to take sides, blame herself or choose between you. You are all hurting here and the best thing that she can do is to stay in love and contact with the most two important people in her life ... there is no choice to be made ...

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