Question Detail: My friend is a racist

My friend is a racist

I staretd a job 6 months ago and I made friends with a woman who started on the same day. She seemed really nice at first although I did notice that she was a snob. She was quite generous to me though, buying me lunch and things. Now it turns out she is not only a snob which I don't like but she is also a racist. I don't know how to keep her at arms length without causing a problem at work.

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replies: Oh my, it is so easy to get into such situations and so hard to get out of them. No simple fixes here, I suggest, but perhaps you should gently wind down the relationship by stating that you appreciate her kindnesses and generosity but it is causing you embarrasment that you cannot compete financially and it would help you if you could cope on your own for a while just to see how things pan out. This woman appears to buy people's affections and that's not the way to go. To debate her being a snob and a racist would not fit into the workplace unless the offence generated is excessive. I would keep those complaints quiet all the time you have to work together. But sometimes, frankness and good understanding can cement a relationship in the best direction. It's all about being adult and responsible to the other party.

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