Splitting Up

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Very confused about an ex boyfriend situation?!
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12/05/2010 : After being broken up for about a week my ex boyfriend and I met up, at my asking, for him to explain his reasons for breaking up with me [he initially got his friends to spin me some lines]. His reason was that he had no feelings for anything anymore, not just me but everything, and everything was too much pressure. We had a good two hour long conversation, in which he really opened up to me, just like he always has done, and he started saying things such as 'I will always regret everything I did to you' and 'I won't forgive myself until you find somebody else' when I questioned this with 'what if I have to wait 5 years, or what if I never get another boyfriend' he responded with a 'I'll never forgive myself'.

Our conversation went on, and he started having a massive go at me for caring too much about everyone and paying everyone respect that they never showed me and he didn't know why I bothered being nice. On top of all this he kept saying 'I know you want to get back with me' and when I said 'er nah thanks', he was like 'I KNOW you do'. He almost cried during our conversation at least four times, and I don't really know what to make of this whole situation, like he's clearly going slightly mad, but what is this mind game? On top of this, within a week of us breaking up he pulled two other girls, and the weekend after we were both in the same club [we live in a small town] and though I ignored him he kept moving into my eyeline dancing with some girl, and he caught my eye at one point, then smiled turned around and kissed some girl.

Then when his ladyfriend left he was staring at me and this guy I was dancing with, really offputting my guy friend I appreciate its a longwinded story, but I've been invited to one of his friends [who I know but am not close with] birthday drinks and though I'm in the same club again anyway that night, I feel like I'm missing something here...any help appreciated

Stay or go?
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19/04/2010 : Hi, I am in a really hard situation. The basic outline is that I met a man three years ago. I moved four hours away from my close family and friends and obtained a new job in his area. I also live in his house. My partner had been married before and went through a bitter divorce/custody battle over his daughter. The 6 year old eventually went to live abroad with her mother and new husband. My partner asked me to marry him shortly after and I accepted. I then became pregnant two months later which was planned.

I was also happy because although I do not like the idea of children being born out of wedlock, I knew that we would be married in two years and before our baby would know any different. He then changed his mind when I was 5 months pregnant, I flipped and became hysterical and angry threatening to leave (looking back I probably should have done at this point). He used this against me even more saying I was blackmailing him just like his ex-wife did by saying "marry me or I am leaving" (he married her and as she left him anyway he is cautious).

The rest of my pregnancy was pretty miserable and after our daughter was born I was left to do everything for her. He loves her but cannot seem to cope with her if she cries at all meaning that I never go anywhere or do anything for myself anymore. Anyway, I digress. He still does not want to marry me and I am beginning to think it would be a bad idea anyhow.He plays me a bit by saying "I am sure we will be married one day, I can't promise but it isn't out of the question" Please someone tell me is this fair??? I have constantly given into him.

For example, the baby has his surname which he was insistent upon. I stupidly agreed believeing that somehow he would see the sacrifice I had made (I absolutely hate the fact I have no name association with my daughter)....but he doesn't particularly care. I also look aftr his other daughter when she comes in the holidays as he is often at work. I am very close to her but I am finding myself beginning to feel resentful about doing this as I feel so unappreciated. Last time she was here his daughter joked around saying that it was so funny that I have a different surname to her, her baby sister and her Father.

I completely broke down and felt back to square one emotionally. My partner says that he has given me everyting I wanted.... a baby. (I won't even comment on that as I will cry). I have asked him to see a therapist with me but he will not and says that all the issues are in my head. When I tried to leave before he threatened me with calling the police and taking me to court and 'breaking me' (He has a lot of money....I do not. He made me feel guilty for both the children saying I will ruin his older daughter's life as she loves me and that I will ruin our daughters life for my own selfish greed of wanting a piece of paper that means nothing.

I do have a conscience and I am very worried about the effect on both children. I love him but I am scared that I will spend my whole life feeling worthless and punished for his first marriage going wrong. There is a good line in an Alanis Morisette song that I heard the other day.... "I don't want to be the band-ade if the wound is not mine" How true!!! If I leave I have been advised by a lawyer to go without saying anything as apparently he can get a court order to stop my daughter and I from leaving the county and returning to my family who as I said live four hours away.

(I would need to go there as that is where all my support structure is). I am nervous about physically leaving as he often pops home during the day. Has anyone else had to do this and leave without saying on a limited time frame? I am so frightened that I am going to stay in this hoping and hoping that things will change but I fear it will not. I also know that now that men have equal rights he will have a strong chance of gaining custody of our daughter once she is older and has started school etc.

..and he would fight me tooth and nail as well just like he did his other child. Advice please!!!! I know this is a complicated one! :)

My wife won't talk to me.
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24/03/2010 : I lost my job just befroe Christmas. Recently I got another one but I have to be away every week for all of the 5 working days. At first I used to speak to my wife for hours every night, we have never really spent any time apart before. Over the last month she has always been out when I phone and she won't tell me where she has been. Even when I go home for the weekend she goes out now and won't tell me where she's gone. What do oyu think is going on? How do I get her to talk to me again?

Made mistake with ex
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02/01/2010 : I split with my partner 9 months ago. We ended up in the same pub on new years eve. She came home with me and we slept together. It was a mistake, she thinks we are going to be together again and I don't want that. How can I tell her it was a mistake? She is still here.

I want to leave.
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02/01/2010 : I have just had waht I hope is the last Xmas withmy girlfreind. I want to leave I don't think I can stay for another moment. The trouble is we own our house together and it was her deposit that enabled us to buy it. I know I am entitiled to half the house but how can I get half of her deposit? Belive me, if you knew what she had put me through then you would agree that she owes it to me.

Should I split now?
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18/12/2009 : I want to leave my girlfriend, I have met soemone else. The new girl wants us to spend Christmas together. I cannot work up the nerve to leave my old girl right before Christmas. Can anyone help me? I cannot believe that I am the only person this has ever happenned to.

Can we split nicely?
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27/11/2009 : My partner and I have lived together for 5 years. We have decided to split. We think we can do it on good terms without any arguments. All our friends say that this is impossible that onece we start splitting stuff up we will fall out. Is this what always happens or can it be done without fighting. Has anyone out there managed to do this without a row?

Boyfriend dumped me
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25/11/2009 : My boyfriend went to University this year and now he has dumped me. Before he went he gave me a ring and said we would be together forever but now he says he needs time and space. I knew this would happen and my heart is broken. I do not know what to do he was the only one for me.

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