Splitting Up
Results 1 - 8 of about 16
Thinking about leaving him, but will I ruin his present from his parents- a holiday for the two of us? Should I leave him before or after?
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21/02/2013 : I'm in my 20's and have been with a lovely guy for over a year now. We get on well most of the time but recently I've found my attention wandering, and I really can't see a future for us together. I don't regret the time spent with him, but at the same time, I don't want to waste either of our time on continuing. His parents have paid for a holiday for him (and me) in the coming month, but I think I've made up my mind that I don't want to be with him any more. The problem is that he is genuinely a very nice guy, and I really don't want to ruin this holiday as he has always wanted to go.
I also don't know if any of his close friends could get time off work to go with him, or if he would want to go in the aftermath of a break up. I know he doesnt know what's coming as I have only really realised myself how I feel. Should I just pretend everything is ok and go, I do still love the guy and have feelings for him so it wouldnt be hard, but is it fair? Any advice? Thank you!
Confused over what I should do regarding my boyfriend and this other guy
Replies: This question has 5 responses
29/05/2012 : Im in a long distance relationship currently but recently I've developed feelings for one of my good friends and I'm not sure if these feelings are reciprocated but there are certain signs to prove he likes me. Another thing which is troubling me is that my best friend may possibly have feelings for this same guy and likewise, he may have feelings for her because they have recently become rather close. Now I'm really confused about the step I should take because I do still have feelings for my boyfriend but I clearly feel more for this guy but I'm not sure it's giving worth losing my boyfriend over something Im so uncertain about.
And another thing is that I'm worried that I would hurt my best friend if she does possess feelings for this guy...
What do I do about my Childish ex-partner?
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16/03/2012 : OK, long story. I've been with my now ex-girlfriend 9 years. We have 2 beautiful children together. In that time she's cheated on me with 3 different men, I cheated on her with one woman (a long time ago). The latest infidelity is the one that broke us up, she'd been with another man for a YEAR, and then came home one day and told me and said that it was over. That was in November last year. Since then we continued to live together, which was not a healthy situation. In January, she started a new relationship with a man ten years older than me, and already she is pregnant with his baby.
In February, I met a wonderful woman who has completely blown me away, she's everything the ex wasn't, and amazingly good to me. So things seemed to be on the up. Then I ruined it all by getting arrested and bailed and not allowed to go home, or see my children. Not clever, I know. So I spent a week on a friend's couch before finding my own flat, and now life is a million times better. Except for one thing. I can't even SPEAK to my children. I rang to speak to them and my ex told me that Social Services said I shouldn't have any contact whatsoever.
I took her word for it. On a friend's advice, I decided to call SS myself and check it out. They confirmed they had said NO SUCH THING. So I rang again and asked to speak to my daughter, the ex said no. I told her I knew she was lying, she said she wasn't. I checked again with Social Services, and they confirmed AGAIN that they hadn't said any such thing. I answer bail next week, so hopefully will only get a caution and be able to go back to the house (Technically I'm still a tenant there), but just don't know how to deal with someone so childish anymore.
Can anyone advise how best to deal with this? Really don't want to drag the kids through court, but unless someone has a suggestion, it might be exactly what I'll have to do.
I want to know if I'm still in love my boyfriend seems to watch porn and is more obsessed with being on the internet and spend time with me?
Replies: This question has 1 responses
31/10/2011 : me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years in the beginning of our relationship we had sex constantly and he was never watching porn we were crazy over each other. we've had 2 children since then and most recently he seems to be watching porn everyday turnstiles zack and even has issues keeping his junk hard for finishing sex with me. he's even made cooments like "what happened to you" after talking about being more fit before having my first child, commencing that I still look pregnant at times- it seems innocent but I think he is obsessed with porn and has lost interest in me.
.. I think I've lost my feelings for him because I am no longer attracted to him or it feels as if it is that way... I feel angry that he watches porn when I am willing to do whatever whenever I am a very horny person... sometimes chili's in watch porn after we had sex... I don't think I'll ever be able to get over this, I feel like if a guy is attracted to me and enjoy sleeping with me he wouldn't have to watch porn everyday or rarely at all...
How can I get over my ex?
Replies: This question has 1 responses
13/02/2011 : I'm pretty sure this one of the most commonly asked questions and I know I'm not the first person to go through it, but what's the best way to deal with a break up? My ex broke up with me about 3 months ago, at first it was horrible (as it always is). We were together for 10 months and I really thought it was serious and that we'd be together for years to come, but he decided we needed time apart. He made it a difficult break because at first he meant it as a break, and then told me we split up so I wouldn't be disappointed in case we didn't get back together, then he flirted a lot with another girl for a while which hurt like hell and then told me he didn't love me anymore.
At the moment we're not speaking and avoid eachother all the time. My friends and family have helped out loads and a lot of days I feel fine where I barely think about him, but anything that reminds me of him and I get really upset and down again. What should I do? I want to stop feeling for him and don't know whether to let the feelings fade over time or whether I should start looking for a new relationship myself.
Very confused about an ex boyfriend situation?!
Replies: This question has 5 responses
12/05/2010 : After being broken up for about a week my ex boyfriend and I met up, at my asking, for him to explain his reasons for breaking up with me [he initially got his friends to spin me some lines]. His reason was that he had no feelings for anything anymore, not just me but everything, and everything was too much pressure. We had a good two hour long conversation, in which he really opened up to me, just like he always has done, and he started saying things such as 'I will always regret everything I did to you' and 'I won't forgive myself until you find somebody else' when I questioned this with 'what if I have to wait 5 years, or what if I never get another boyfriend' he responded with a 'I'll never forgive myself'.
Our conversation went on, and he started having a massive go at me for caring too much about everyone and paying everyone respect that they never showed me and he didn't know why I bothered being nice. On top of all this he kept saying 'I know you want to get back with me' and when I said 'er nah thanks', he was like 'I KNOW you do'. He almost cried during our conversation at least four times, and I don't really know what to make of this whole situation, like he's clearly going slightly mad, but what is this mind game? On top of this, within a week of us breaking up he pulled two other girls, and the weekend after we were both in the same club [we live in a small town] and though I ignored him he kept moving into my eyeline dancing with some girl, and he caught my eye at one point, then smiled turned around and kissed some girl.
Then when his ladyfriend left he was staring at me and this guy I was dancing with, really offputting my guy friend I appreciate its a longwinded story, but I've been invited to one of his friends [who I know but am not close with] birthday drinks and though I'm in the same club again anyway that night, I feel like I'm missing something here...any help appreciated
Stay or go?
Replies: This question has 2 responses
19/04/2010 : Hi, I am in a really hard situation. The basic outline is that I met a man three years ago. I moved four hours away from my close family and friends and obtained a new job in his area. I also live in his house. My partner had been married before and went through a bitter divorce/custody battle over his daughter. The 6 year old eventually went to live abroad with her mother and new husband. My partner asked me to marry him shortly after and I accepted. I then became pregnant two months later which was planned.
I was also happy because although I do not like the idea of children being born out of wedlock, I knew that we would be married in two years and before our baby would know any different. He then changed his mind when I was 5 months pregnant, I flipped and became hysterical and angry threatening to leave (looking back I probably should have done at this point). He used this against me even more saying I was blackmailing him just like his ex-wife did by saying "marry me or I am leaving" (he married her and as she left him anyway he is cautious).
The rest of my pregnancy was pretty miserable and after our daughter was born I was left to do everything for her. He loves her but cannot seem to cope with her if she cries at all meaning that I never go anywhere or do anything for myself anymore. Anyway, I digress. He still does not want to marry me and I am beginning to think it would be a bad idea anyhow.He plays me a bit by saying "I am sure we will be married one day, I can't promise but it isn't out of the question" Please someone tell me is this fair??? I have constantly given into him.
For example, the baby has his surname which he was insistent upon. I stupidly agreed believeing that somehow he would see the sacrifice I had made (I absolutely hate the fact I have no name association with my daughter)....but he doesn't particularly care. I also look aftr his other daughter when she comes in the holidays as he is often at work. I am very close to her but I am finding myself beginning to feel resentful about doing this as I feel so unappreciated. Last time she was here his daughter joked around saying that it was so funny that I have a different surname to her, her baby sister and her Father.
I completely broke down and felt back to square one emotionally. My partner says that he has given me everyting I wanted.... a baby. (I won't even comment on that as I will cry). I have asked him to see a therapist with me but he will not and says that all the issues are in my head. When I tried to leave before he threatened me with calling the police and taking me to court and 'breaking me' (He has a lot of money....I do not. He made me feel guilty for both the children saying I will ruin his older daughter's life as she loves me and that I will ruin our daughters life for my own selfish greed of wanting a piece of paper that means nothing.
I do have a conscience and I am very worried about the effect on both children. I love him but I am scared that I will spend my whole life feeling worthless and punished for his first marriage going wrong. There is a good line in an Alanis Morisette song that I heard the other day.... "I don't want to be the band-ade if the wound is not mine" How true!!! If I leave I have been advised by a lawyer to go without saying anything as apparently he can get a court order to stop my daughter and I from leaving the county and returning to my family who as I said live four hours away.
(I would need to go there as that is where all my support structure is). I am nervous about physically leaving as he often pops home during the day. Has anyone else had to do this and leave without saying on a limited time frame? I am so frightened that I am going to stay in this hoping and hoping that things will change but I fear it will not. I also know that now that men have equal rights he will have a strong chance of gaining custody of our daughter once she is older and has started school etc.
..and he would fight me tooth and nail as well just like he did his other child. Advice please!!!! I know this is a complicated one! :)
My wife won't talk to me.
Replies: This question has 1 responses
24/03/2010 : I lost my job just befroe Christmas. Recently I got another one but I have to be away every week for all of the 5 working days. At first I used to speak to my wife for hours every night, we have never really spent any time apart before. Over the last month she has always been out when I phone and she won't tell me where she has been. Even when I go home for the weekend she goes out now and won't tell me where she's gone. What do oyu think is going on? How do I get her to talk to me again?
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